Screwed.edu
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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