Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
