sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
