god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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