I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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