Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That accounts for only three of the penises
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
