fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
