Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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