You just made me feel so damn special
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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