Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have aggressive nipples.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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