AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
