We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
