Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize