LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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