come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
