Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
