Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
