Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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