At least make sure they are 18
Why
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
