I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
