MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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