I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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