then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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