I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
