covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
