I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So apparently I’m into choking now
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
