i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
