The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize