he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
