i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
