how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
