Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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