It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
