Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
