? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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