Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
