And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
