drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
