ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
