What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize