All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Two words: blizzard sex
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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