Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
