let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
