Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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