Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
