My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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