I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
