you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
