tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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