I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
