My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize