Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
