Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
