the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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