normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
