you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
