There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
