Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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