The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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