Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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