So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
