My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
