i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
