Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
