I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
