I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My cat gives me a boner
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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