I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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