C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
