so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
