what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
