I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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