the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Success! We fucked roommates!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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