did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
