just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize