He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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