that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
