Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
