I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
