She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
