Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
