I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
